Orgasms are great and great for you! There are so many health benefits to orgasming, including (but not limited to): pain relief (of menstrual cramps, migraines, etc.); stress relief; improved mood, immune function, and sexual function; and reduced risk of heart disease. There are many different ways to experience orgasms whether they are little blips of pleasure, or extended/drawn out moments of climax. By experimenting and exploring what works for you and your body, you can enhance your own orgasmic experience and that of your partner(s). Here we explore five different tips to help improve your orgasmic experience.
- Practice on yourself. This is the first and most important way to help enhance your experience. No one knows your body better than you and practicing/exploring the heightening of pleasure in your own body is a great way to improve your orgasmic experience. If you’re comfortable, have your partner watch what you do so they can mimic it. You don’t even have to give yourself an orgasm to teach them the technique (but if you do, all the better!). Do the same with them. Watch the pressure your partner applies, the speed at which they stroke themselves, see what other parts of their body they stimulate while they are doing it, etc. I know it can be uncomfortable exploring one’s own body, but the more you do it, the less uncomfortable it becomes. This experience is FOR YOU and no one else has to see it happening. Be curious with yourself - you might be surprised at what you unpack.
- Slow down. So many people rush to the orgasm because it feels good, or they just want to get it over and done with. But the build up to orgasm is what makes the orgasm. Teasing each other, getting close to orgasm and backing off, and really taking your time are all going to enhance the orgasmic experience. That slow build really warms up a person’s body and can make the release feel more explosive and intense. So rather than rushing to the finish line, take your time together to really enhance the experience.
- Get some toys and lube involved. Sex toys don’t mean that your partner is inadequate at what they do. Toys stimulate us in new and different ways and can keep our partner from using up too much energy and instead can allow them to be present to enjoy participating in your orgasm. Play around with different toys - remembering to slow down and tease each other’s body with it. You might use toys in one area of the body and stimulate or penetrate in another. There’s much fun to be had with toys and there’s no need to shame anyone for wanting to use them. With toys also comes lubrication. Lube is going to enhance the sexual experience by increasing comfort, enhancing sensations, and improving performance, making orgasm much more enjoyable. Use lube with or without toys as a way to make the build up more pleasurable.
- Play with different sensations. This is another way to help build up anticipation and enhance the orgasmic experience. Pinching, spanking, biting, feather dusters, fur gloves, gentle caressing, licking, heat, cool, etc. are all different sensations to play around with. You can try using different sensations as a build up, or try adding a new sensation as your partner is beginning to climax (i.e. as they’re starting their climax, pinch a nipple, tug on the ball sack, stick a finger in the anus - all with consent, of course). Playing with different sensations can help an orgasm feel more intense or can help elongate it. You can also try stimulating your partner 5 seconds to several minutes after their first orgasm to try and get a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. This is where exploring your own body will come into play to give your partner an idea of how much time you need between stimulation before you’re geared up for another orgasm.
- Try fantasizing. Fantasizing alone or together can be another way to improve the orgasmic experience. There are so many activities that we don’t want to play out in reality or can’t, so fantasizing about them can be a way to amplify arousal, hence amplifying the orgasm. Fantasizing doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy what’s happening in the present - it’s simply a way to play around with your body in your own mind. Doing it together can be a fun way for a couple to connect and is another way to tantalize and tease your partner, thus enhancing the build up which should ultimately enhance the orgasm.
Some of these tips may not be new to you and that’s okay! Most people get into a routine way of getting themselves or their partner to orgasm so this can serve as a reminder to shake things up a bit. And if some of this is new to you, take your time! Pick one or two to start with and see how it impacts your orgasm and then add more. The most important thing to remember is that anticipation and build up are ultimately going to influence the type of orgasm you have, so taking your time to really relish each other’s bodies and build up arousal are going to play a big role in your orgasmic experience.
Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash