Let's Talk Lube
Let’s talk lube for a minute. For some reason, society seems to project the idea that if you use lube, it’s because your partner isn’t wet enough or there’s some deficiency within the process that lubrication is all of a sudden required.
THIS IS NOT TRUE! Lube can be used in any sexual circumstance (and a few non-sexual ones too!) to enhance the experience without any regard to participants’ biology. For all involved parties, having a little extra moisture tends to increase pleasure.
Now, if an individual with a vulva is experiencing dryness, lube, of course, can be very helpful, but it can also be used for a variety of sexual activities to increase pleasure. Some individuals find that using a flavored lube while giving a blow job enhances both parties experience. Others find that using lube while stimulating a woman’s g-spot increases the chances of her squirting (which is also a healthy behavior!). And especially when playing with sexual toys, lube is a must for getting things going quickly and easily. Interested in anal sex? There’s a lube for that! Using a condom? There are certain lubes that go better with condoms than others. Trust me, regardless of the activity, no one wants it to the dry. Remember when your teacher had you rub your hands together really quickly to demonstrate friction and how hot and uncomfortable it became after a while? Neither you nor your partner(s) want that on your genitals (or any part of your body, really). How much lube you decide to use is entirely up to you, but an extra squirt never hurt!
As far as lubes go, there are several different categories to choose from, which should help guide you into what type of lube you should be using, based on the activity in which you’re engaging. The main categories are: silicone, water, oil, and hybrid lubes.
Silicone is one of the more common of the four. It creates a wet, slippery feeling, and lasts for a fair amount of time. It can be used with condoms without the concern of breakage; however, it’s not the best lubricant to use with toys, as it can break down the materials of a silicone toy and ruin it.
Water-based lubricants are excellent for those with an allergy to latex and are toy and condom friendly. This lube tends to be a slightly thicker consistency than silicone-based, and absorbs faster, so you may need to add a bit more during the process. According to the book “The Principles of Pleasure: Working with the Good Stuff as Sex Therapists and Educators,” (Rademacher and Hoskins, 2017), water-based lubes often contain glycerin, which could be problematic for women who are more prone to getting yeast infections. Avoid putting anything sugar-based (including fragrances or flavored lubes) in the vagina or on the vulva to decrease the risk of getting a yeast infection.
Oil-based lubricants are items like coconut/plant-based oils or shea butter. These are best used for external use, since it’s possible that putting food-based oils inside the body could cause yeast infections and the like. These could be used for activities like personal massage, foreplay (licking it off of each other’s bodies), etc. It’s not recommended that these be used with condoms, but they can be used with sex toys.
Lastly, hybrid lubrication. This is typically a blend of water-based and silicone-based lube. This tends to last longer than water-based lube and has more of the consistency of silicone lube. It can be used with condoms, but it might not be toy-friendly, so it’ll be good to do a spot test. As with water-based lubes, it’s important to check the ingredients since it could contain glycerin or other sugary materials which could lead to a yeast infection.
So now that you know about the different types of lube as well as which are condom and toy friendly, you can make an informed decision about what type to buy! There are some brands that have a better reputation than others, but it really all depends on the ingredients and what you’re looking for. If you go to a local sex shop, the employees will be happy to walk you through the different options that exist so you can pick what works best for you and in your own price range. Happy shopping!
